About a week into the Covid-19 breakout I had a vivid dream. I was coaching some kids. Among them, there was a kid that all the coaches were having trouble connecting with and getting him to understand our expectations.
The kid in the dream wasn't anyone I recognize in real life. He is probably a hyper-conglomeration and figurehead for everything I fear and see wrong in the world and every troubled kid with underutilized potential.
The kid in the dream wasn't anyone I recognize in real life. He is probably a hyper-conglomeration and figurehead for everything I fear and see wrong in the world and every troubled kid with underutilized potential.
I remember being extremely angry with this kid and the problems he was causing. The problems culminated with this young man destroying some of our equipment and lighting our equipment shed on fire and then fleeing. I happened to be in that shed at that time and angrily asked what had happened. When the other coaches explained what had happened, my anger moved to uncontrollable outrage. I shared how we should be done with this kid now. His actions would not be tolerated and would send him to jail anyways. In the moment, they agreed and I walked away.
The next day I went back to the other coaches and said author Donald Miller once said, "If you watched a movie about a guy who wanted a Volvo and worked for years to get it, you wouldn’t cry at the end when he drove off the lot." They said no they probably wouldn't watch it to begin with and what does this have to do with our situation. I then asked a second question to my own surprise. Would you (A) prefer to watch a movie about a kid that was really messed up and caused some problems and went to jail and his old team went back to normal or (B) would you prefer to watch a movie in which nothing went back to normal and that kid was given a chance at redemption, connection, belonging, hope and a future and in the process his own mentors faced their own pain, frustrations and unrealized dreams in their own lives? They said B.
The next thing I knew I was sitting in front of an obviously confused kid and said, "help me to understand your pain." My dream ended with me curious as to where it would go.
I woke up thinking how many times have I heard or even thought to myself, "I can't wait until things go back to normal." Is that what we really want? Yes, of course I would like this virus to die. But is it back to normal that I really want? Someday there will be movies made about the 2020 pandemic. Somewhere in the larger storyline there will be sub-stories of individual lives. Rest assured nobody will watch the movie if all that happens is someone's life goes back to normal. That is not a story we long for. We long for things like transformation, redemption, connection, belonging, hope and a future.
The reality is every leader, coach, teacher, mentor, minister, and parent has unrealized dreams and pain in their story. That's never the problem. In fact, our own pain can be a source of healing that leads to transformation for others as we authentically and passionately offer hope from a position of compassion. The problem is when the pain in our story is not transformed, it will eventually be transmitted.
Don't go back to the normal of unreconciled relationships, pain from unrealized dreams, unresolved trauma, and isolation from those that are hurting all around you. Take this time to reflect and receive healing from the One who invites you to a better story. "I came that they may have life and have it abundantly." It is those that come to Jesus with their pain that are able to see themselves transformed and can then say to even those that have hurt them, help me understand your pain. Don't live for a normal or lesser story.
Donald Miller continued his quote with, "But we spend years actually living those stories, and expect our lives to be meaningful. The truth is, if what we choose to do with our lives won't make a story meaningful, it won’t make a life meaningful either.”
